January 17, 2013


just a little something...

The moments that define you in life are usually the most painful. A disappointment, a failure, a loss, a silence, an absence... All these things combined, could most likely create an all new concept of pain and a new word must be born to describe it. The ones who survive such devastation, are also the ones who, slowly, clean the rail of sorrows and transform the sadness into newborn joy. That's quite a challenge and quite a win if you make it without becoming bitter. I even dare to say you are a winner. A fighter!
I myself consider myself a fighter. A good one. But how winner are you if the time you take to heal turns into unacceptable?
The ancient people took decades, even centuries to conquer land and entire cultures, and they seemed okay about it. Even my mom says "one battle at a time my dear". But I'm an impatient being, and for more than three years now I'm impatiently waiting to rebirth from the ashes. And as I win one more battle (and realize it's not the end of it) I can´t help but wonder: when is it okay to be okay?
The more I think about it, the more I get the feeling that sometimes you just need to stop fighting. Because maybe you'll never get to that point you think it's the best for you. And all I've learned is that there's no shame in admitting you're tired. And sometimes it's fine to allow yourself to be okay even if you're not quite there. Maybe I'll never be that person again. People change. And with some luck, for the best.
Never settle for less than you aim for you. But once in a while, give yourself a brake. If you're the fighter kind, you do well deserve it ;)